What do people really look for in a partner?

Guest Blog: Sabeen from Since Being Single


Hi, Sabeen here from SBS! Since Being Single is a free dating site for British Sikh, Hindu and Muslims, and we wanted to learn more about what kind of partner everyone is really looking for.

We put a series of questions to our members, about what’s really important to single British Asians today.

Here’s what everyone said:

We wanted to show our female members and followers what a guy really looks for in a girl. As girls, we’ll always have an idea in our heads about what men really want, but how accurate is that really?

We thought about 4 key characteristics that are important to anyone, and from a guy’s perspective Kamey thought high energy, intelligence, self respect and good manners were big things that men look for in a woman.


I was actually really surprised by these results. I would have thought that men would be more interested in a girl having loads of energy or being intelligent. But as you can see, 43% of guys look for a woman with self respect. Someone who looks after herself, who knows what she deserves, who knows what she wants.


We put the same question to our girls, so we could show the guys what girls are really looking for. And again, even I was surprised by these results! I would have chosen ‘Can make a decision’, as my most desirable factor, but only 10% of girls said this is what they look for.

BUT, I do agree with these results in the order they have ranked. If you can make a girl laugh, she will automatically want to talk to you more. If you’re intelligent too, she’ll be much more interested to spend time with you. Maybe because you inspire her, or maybe because you’re intelligent in a way that she isn’t and she admires you and wants to learn from you.

And if you can make a decision and not leave her to ‘wear the trousers’, she’ll have massive amounts of respect for you.

It was also very interesting to see that ‘Likes a challenge’ came last. I thought this would have gotten a higher percentage of votes because it’s something I’m personally attracted to, but clearly it’s not the most important factor for most girls.

Then we decided to dig a little deeper, into real needs. We thought about different personality types and what kinds of people go together.

Not everyone always knows what they really need in a relationship, so this one was interesting.


I did not think we would have a clear winner like this! I’m quite chilled out in a relationship. I’d be happy to stay in and watch films and eat pizza all the time, so I need Kamey to liven things up for us and give us new adventures to experience! I thought adventure would have been the winner here, but very clear to see that most people want someone who offers stability.

Which makes sense. We all want someone who can show consistency, that they’re responsible and reliable. We all look for strength in other people, so it’s understandable that most people feel they need stability in a relationship.

Then we thought, well if these are things you might need, what do you have to offer someone else? What value do you bring to the table? (We talk about value a lot!)


This one surprised me too! The numbers for each of these options was very close and changed frequently while the poll was live. It’s interesting to see that Calmness was the overall winner, as this shows how most people perceive themselves.

We actually designed these last two polls so that they would fit together.

We initially put Stability with Structure, Adventure with Spontaneity, Easy-going with Calmness, and Sensitivity with Empathy.

These are four different psychological personality types, and it’s been proven that each type will specifically match well in a relationship with one of the other three.

If you’re the type of person to offer stability and structure in a relationship, then what you actually need is someone who’s empathetic and sensitive, so you can balance each other out.

If you bring adventure and spontaneity, then what you need from a relationship is someone who is calm and easygoing.

And vice versa! If you’re sensitive and empathetic, you need someone who can provide structure and stability to complete you.

If you’re easygoing and calm, then you need someone who’s gonna sweep you off your feet and take you on new, exciting adventures all the time.

Some really exciting and interesting results there. They definitely surprised me!

So, how will you choose your partner?

I’d love to know your thoughts!

Speak soon,

Sabeen x


Since Being Single is a community of British Asian professionals looking for love. The Asian dating site is run by a real couple, Kamey and Sabeen. SBS is free to join, search, and message! SBS offers online dating, singles events, and dating advice for Sikh, Hindu and Muslim singles looking to meet their life partner.

Visit sincebeingsingle.com to join free today!

Follow SBS online!

Twitter: @SBSDating

YouTube: Kamey and Sabeen

Snapchat: @kameyandsabeen

Instagram: @kameyandsabeen

Facebook: @sincebeingsingle


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