Distance is not for the Fearful


Keeping your long distance relationship alive this Valentine’s Day

Hans Nouwens once said, “In true love, the smallest distance is too great; and the greatest distance can be bridged”; well that and the fact that distance is usually defined by doubt, challenges and dread.


The truth is that during a long distance relationship “relationship” takes on a whole new meaning when both a plane ticket and time is needed. Commitment and dedication are tested. Challenges are thrown at you which don’t magically end but are taken on with strength and courage.


However there are many reasons that a long distance relationship may not work. Are they worth the effort? Is risking time, money and ultimately your heart something you are willing to do? Research suggests that the biggest explanation why long distance relationships do not work is the failure, or the lack of, communication. The start of any relationship would bring fondness and affection between any couple; however a breakdown of communication would destroy any chance of happiness.


Even though geography might be the hardest factor in a long-distance relationship; maintaining a steady commitment of communication; through Skype, social media or just general telephone calls, is the only way to keep a relationship alive.


A lack of trust in a relationship could be disastrous. Trust issues are a personal thing so try dealing with them before you enter in to a relationship; especially a long distance one. If you are having doubts about your partner then there is just no way your relationship will survive – just end it. Having your significant other half on a different continent is very expensive. Calling, visiting and postal costs can all hinder a relationship; so ask yourself again – is it all worth it? Time zones are another factor which obstruct a successful relationship. Having your partner in a different country can take its toll on an individual; both mentally and emotionally. Demanding as they are; they will eventually lose touch with reality.


However there are a many positives to a long distance relationship, one being a strong bond, which goes beyond physical contact between you and your partner. The obvious foundations of a long distance relationship are ‘trust’ and ‘communication’. These two elements are strained and tested to the limits; over time with commitment and due care they can become a catalyst to develop a relationship into something, which obstacles like time and distance cannot destroy.


You appreciate the little time you spend together. When you are around someone constantly, it is easy to take him or her for granted. We often get so engrossed up in our daily lives we forget to value each other and that often leads to a break up.



In conclusion a long-distance requires commitment from both sides. It requires patience, communication and trust. Like every relationship there will be rough patches, but if the positives outweigh your negatives always keep in mind that: “distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be” because all we can do is take what we have been given and make the best of it.


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