{"id":10463,"date":"2014-01-09T16:17:45","date_gmt":"2014-01-09T16:17:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tat.reddaisytrading.co.uk\/index.php\/2014\/01\/09\/nabila-sharma-brutal\/"},"modified":"2014-01-09T16:17:45","modified_gmt":"2014-01-09T16:17:45","slug":"nabila-sharma-brutal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/09\/nabila-sharma-brutal\/","title":{"rendered":"Nabila Sharma: Brutal"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Nabila Sharma Breaks 28 Year Silence of her Imam Abusing Her <\/h3>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n <\/p>\n

Childhood is an experience full of blissful memories. A time which should be spent tingling in the depths of curiosity and lost in taking advantage of the fact that you were invincible. An innocence that was yours and yours alone. Acknowledging the freedom had you had and knowing that you were safe. Secure. Protected by the adults around you. A responsibility which was handed down and inherited from those gone before. But for one little girl that experience quickly turned in to a living nightmare. To everyone around her, Nabila Sharma was a typical Pakistani girl growing up in Birmingham. She enjoyed reading. Watching television after school and listening to Kylie Minogue. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

But things did not all seem like they were. Like every Muslim girl she started to attend mosque and quickly settled in to this routine, just like her siblings before her. However, it was during her time at mosque that she suffered a tremendous ordeal.\u00a0A painful act that is beyond any rational individual\u2019s wildest imagination; her Imam had started to sexually abuse her. At first he would tell her to do trivial jobs, singling her out, isolating her. After that he started to touch her; firstly on her face and hair and then it was everywhere. As time went on, he started reward her for her silence; with things getting more physical. It was a secret she was terrified of revealing to her family and tamed her to silence for 28 years. It was after she met her partner, who was one of a handful of people that knew, she pushed herself to get help. With his help, she got counselling and stood up to the painful reminder of her past. Deciding to write a book to document her story, Nabila\u2019s message is simple. She wants justice and in doing so, she wants to send a message to those guilty that they can not get away with their crimes. Nabila Sharma spoke to The Asian Today. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

How was it writing the book? Were there times you thought, \u201cI can\u2019t do this, because of the bad memories that it would bring back?\u201d<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Obviously I hadn\u2019t spoken about it in 28 years. Over the years I\u2019ve been reading these kinds of books about survivors and find comfort in them think that was how I felt. I always thought I was weird and strange. But I thought to myself I can\u2019t find a book about the things that I went through. So I jokingly said I was going to write this book and I\u2019m going to help someone out there. I never took it seriously. But after contacting a few agents, one said that they were interested. At the meeting all I did was cry. I\u2019m grateful for my partner who was there with me because all I did was cry. It was the first time I\u2019d spoken about it openly and it was very therapeutic. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

What was the reaction of Brutal?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Positive. Victims have come out and congratulated me on this. They have said how I have done an amazing thing by coming out and telling my story, but what I always say to them is now it is your turn. Come out and tell your story that is the only way that people will take notice. None of them will speak out. Nobody will say anything even though I have tried to encourage them. But they say you\u2019re brilliant, you\u2019ve done this, but I always say to them I need you to do it as well. I can understand how hard it is.\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Is the fear based on the impact from the wider community? Or is it the reaction of the family?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

It depends on the family. A lot of them say I cannot talk to my parents about this; they will not believe me. Then it is the shame. \u201cI cannot do that to my family.\u201d But you haven\u2019t done anything. I can understand how they are feeling. I use to feel that way. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Were you worried about not only your parents but also, the way the Muslim community would react?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, I do not have my parents anymore and they were not here when it came out, so I don\u2019t know what their reaction would have been. But, I probably didn\u2019t say anything because of my parents and the community, they would have been embarrassed. As far as I know, I think they found out because the other girl (in the book) she told her parents. They never approached me; they never said anything to me. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Did you ever try telling them yourself?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I tried. I\u2019d have it in my head. Go home and tell mom. But mom was always busy cooking, cleaning. Telling me to go and get clean. Then that fear would creep back in to me and I think, \u201cHow do I say it. How do I say the words? How do I actually say those words?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

How many times do you think you\u2019ve rehearsed it in your head?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Loads of times! Everyday. Every time when I was walking home, I\u2019d be so brave but as soon as I\u2019d come to the house I\u2019d think how would I say this? I just didn\u2019t even know the words I would use. I couldn\u2019t say \u201cmom I don\u2019t want to go to mosque, the Imam is touching me.\u201d Those words just wouldn\u2019t come out. I would stand in the kitchen and repeat to myself that \u201cnow I\u2019m going to say it, now I\u2019m going to say it.\u201d I have to remember I was 7, I was young. Looking back now, of course I should have said it. You have to consider I was just a child and Asian, now you can talk about it more. Now you have the internet so it\u2019s easier, before you wouldn\u2019t even consider talking about it. People would consider that you\u2019d been lying. You could never say that against Imam\u2019s. They are on a higher level. If you got smacked and hit at mosque, then you deserved it. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Was there anyone you could have turned to?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

There was an RE teacher at school. Very very close to her. I really liked her. She would always ask me how I was doing. I was kind of like the teachers pet. I think she noticed that I was getting quiet and withdrawn and she would ask me \u201care you okay.\u201d I was very close to saying something. But again, how do I say it. I was scared. What would I do when I get home? Obviously she would tell my parents. All it was that I was scared. It was fear. I was scared of getting in trouble and that I\u2019d be lying and why would I say that and plus they wouldn\u2019t believe me. But again, that\u2019s something I would never know. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Other siblings? <\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I have four older brothers. From which only the older one knows about the situation. He feels a lot of guilt because he went to the same mosque. Sometime down the road I will let them know. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Looking back, do you wish the first people that you spoke to were your parents? <\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Yes. Most definitely. I wished that I was brave enough. I wish I had confidence. I wish I had a better relationship with my parent, I think that\u2019s what it was I didn\u2019t have that very close bond. There was a language barrier, they didn\u2019t read or write English, so it wasn\u2019t like we could sit, read and write books to discuss things. As long as we went to school, we learnt and were good, they were happy. We were not supposed to talk about intimate things, you learn that at school. You don\u2019t talk about that at home. You just be a good Muslim girl and do as you\u2019re told. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

What is your overall opinion of child abuse in the Asian community? Do you think it is changing?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

No. My honest opinion, it\u2019s not changing at all. Its still very hush, very taboo. I have had discussions with other Imam\u2019s and they have said they know of the situation and say they will deal with it. They don\u2019t like outsiders coming in; social services or the police because they say that it is our problem and we will deal with it. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Do you think getting DBS checked is enough?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I think they need to talk about the situation more. I think Imam\u2019s in mosques need to be aware of the situation as well and bring in parents as well. I have seen cases where it\u2019s always the victim that is being harassed; there is not enough support for them. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Religiously speaking, has this affected your views? <\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

It did. I didn\u2019t want to be Muslim. I didn\u2019t want to be Pakistani. Growing up I blamed my culture and religion for it. But I have realised that it wasn\u2019t my religion and culture. It wasn\u2019t the people around me; it was the one person who did this to me. I blamed the mosque. But a mosque isn\u2019t a bad place. I still do celebrate Eid and Ramadhan. I still believe. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Do you think that the younger generation are already aware of such an issue?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I think they are aware of it. Youngsters are more educated and acknowledging because of new technologies. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

What advice do you give people going through a similar situation?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

First of all, talk to someone that you trust. I know it\u2019s easier to say this now, but that first step is crucial. There are a lot of great organisations out there that can help. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

You have your happy ending, but what lies ahead for Nabila Sharma?<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

We are starting a family. I want to do some more work in helping people. I am in the process of writing a children\u2019s book. I do believe that if there were these kinds of help books I could have spoken out. We are hoping to distribute it in schools and places of worship and parents to read to children, with the message that if something like this is happening, please do speak out. Brutal is also being made in to a national theatre production. <\/div>\n

\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nabila Sharma Breaks 28 Year Silence of her Imam Abusing Her Childhood is an experience full of blissful memories. A time which should be spent tingling in the depths of curiosity and lost in taking advantage of the fact that you were invincible. An innocence that was yours and yours alone. Acknowledging the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-sport"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10463"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10463\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theasiantoday.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}